Sumner Time Blues

Its Sumner and while im enjoying not having school in the middle of it all. I am enjoying my job somewhat , and learning things everyday. I have gone and thrown myself back in the dating game and lately it has been worthless. Dead ends , and hookups , nothing seems worthwhile and nothing seems like it would be worth my time. Which somehow , its hard dealing with sometimes , I mean you try so hard to move on and work to make sure that your life goes on. 

But sometimes it doesnt work , im plagued with nightmares of him leaving over and over again . And yet im still left in the dust , and one memory of us laying in bed laughing smiling. But as soon as the memory is there , it is gone within the moment. 

Its something that I am learning to cope with. For crying out loud we were together for 3 years and I believed we would be together forever. But yet I am proven wrong and yet I am sometimes feeling like a failure.
I hope one day he looks at this and thinks maybe I should have fought. Who knows.. its just something I deal with on a day to day basis . I know I screwed up and I know that I am going to find that will to move on and find someone else in that light. And learn how to love just as hard as before and maybe even take the crazy dive and marry the person.
"Wildest dreams by taylor swift"
"You see me in hindsight

Tangled up with you all night
Burnin' it down
Some day when you leave me
I bet these memories follow you around
You see me in hindsight
Tangled up with you all night
Burnin' it down
Some day when you leave me
I bet these memories follow you around"

But as sumner ends , we never know what the fall will bring.