closed off...

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They say that God gives us this one life to live and then throws in the impossible. To see if we are strong enough to live with everything that happens in our life.. Honestly there has been a few things that have made me want to check out and leave. Such as people leaving , when I full heartily expected them to stay. Friends , and close friends , all gone .. I often wonder what is my deal. With letting new people into my life. I can smile and pretend like , im letting the person in. But honestly I think im to that point where I'm so closed off now , I don't let anyone in. Unless I think they can handle it. Im one of those people who have a collection of small and big scars that are "there" on my mind and my soul. I guess its going to take someone special to look past them and see that there is something there worth loving. That no matter how closed off and how much of a train wreak I feel someday's that there is someone that is just looking to be loved and wanted. 

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