Wild and Faithful Heart

Well its another year , and another year has gone by.  I cant believe another year is upon us sorry that  I haven't posted in forever , I go to my job everyday and co run a household. Either way im back , and ready for this new year . Today I want to list my goals for the new year .  Finally being able to drive ,  manage money better. eat more healthier exercise more  lose weight  have a better outlook on my body image , and better self esteem plant a flower garden , and a garden  learn something new  have no fear  ,  get a better g.p.a there is a lot I have planned to start and do in this new year .

I always have a ton of things on my mind, none are worthy of worrying about but I do . The music above basically describes in a nutshell my relationship with my father. Im 20 years old and the only true memory I have of him is him running out on me during spring break. He had free room and food at my mothers house, I lived in the dorms at the time . And what does he do? he leaves to a tour an 1 and mins away , everything he promised me down the drain , he told me he was going to teach me how to drive take me out to lunch when I was done with work and school . Did he do any of that? no ...He left me , when I stopped crying and he finally called my mother to tell her where he was (my aunts house) . He promised he would make it up to me , he tried .. but .. honestly it just felt like he was buying me off , taking me out for dinner a movie and shopping . A girls dream right? honestly not at the most , yes granted I did spend time with him saw him. But I never felt loved b...

"You Are More"~ Tenth Avenue North  There's a girl in the corner  With tear stains on her eyes  From the places she's wandered  And the shame she can't hide  She says, "How did I get here?  I'm not who I once was.  And I'm crippled by the fear  That I've fallen too far to love"  But don't you know who you are,  What's been done for you?  Yeah don't you know who you are?  You are more than the choices that you've made,  You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,  You are more than the problems you create,  You've been remade.  Well she tries to believe it  That she's been given new life  But she can't shake the feeling  That it's not true tonight  She knows all the answers  And she's rehearsed all the lines  And so she'll try to do better  But then she's too weak to try  But don't you know who you are?  You are more than the choices that you've ma...

I am a Christian , And I believe a lot of things , I wouldn't really call myself a closet christian or a out there trying to save everyone on the planet person. I believe that there is a god , and that he has a plan for each of us Some may ask , well you dont go to church .. you Arent a christian. I fully believe that the church is a building that we meet at and the church doesn't make us its the people who fill the church . Im not a perfect christian either, no one is no matter how hard they try . Ive done things , I rather not go into detail that im not proud of but im getting better , im trying to make things right . But people have to know , Its a choice I made yes what I did was a mistake but .. Im learning from it . Without getting into too much detail , I gave it up to my future husband just honestly a little too early. And some people wonder about the reason I chose to move in with him before we got marr...

A lot of people look at me and the place I grew up , and my Hispanic origin  wonder why I am the weird one lol. Who loves Broadway , Dance and Acting .. Most of those things tie in together Ive noticed .  My culture does have stuff that is Broadway and other things .. But they Arent as main stream . But Heck I admit it , I love to dance , I may not be as good as most people but I try . If I could attend dance class everyday I would . Dance is Freedom to Me , its like releasing stress I think one of my main dreams is I wish I could dance what I was feeling . I do it when im alone , :P but thats beside the point, I love acting yes I did give it up for another degree but the point is that one of the reasons I quit was that favorites were always getting picked . And also I really dont think im that good , lets be honest  Now if I get the chance to move from this area I am going to pursue acting , and get my nurses degre...

My heart goes out to all the families who were effected by the shooting , and also the EMS , Police and Fire on scene . And then the unsung heroes the dispatchers who took those frightened calls , of the people inside. They are the angels on the other end of the line , apart from their jobs being stressful they hear the frightened calls the screams of horror unable to do anything  . But be there for the person, and try to keep them calm until help comes for them. ~RIP to all the victims ~

Katy Perry is my hero and my own personal mentor , she grew up in a strict christian household . Where the bible was the law like me . I love her choices to be out there and be herself and not let anyone hold her back from what she wants to do . She was different from her family , and she has been through some hard times , but did she crumble? yes maybe a little .. but she got through it . I admire her strength to keep going even though times are tough . I want to be the person who I want to be , I want to be happy .. I may go through some tough times . Like now , but I know that .. It wont rain forever .. Her parents after a while , are happy that she is doing what she loves . But she lost christian friends because of it , its hard .. to go after your dreams and become someone great and live a happy life. Things happen for a Reason, they honestly do .. and you learn . I wasn't allowed to do so much in my house it wasn't funny ..  my best f...