Wild and Faithful Heart

What Wonder Woman taught me , right now everyone is raving about the new wonder woman movie. For most people its just another movie that they will watch and enjoy. Not thinking about what is going on across the world. You see this woman , come alive on screen , she runs into danger and she fights "bad guys". I have seen countless photos of smaller girls wearing the outfit with grins on their faces. Embracing and seeing this woman on screen not afraid but rather going towards danger. I am 25 years old at the moment . Watching is movie for me , was like I was five again  seeing that a woman could be fearless and have emotions as well. To see a woman , command a presence when she goes to battle with men. I've talked about it before , I was raised by my mother I never knew my father until I was much older. I saw my mother strong raising a daughter on her own trying her best to make sure that I had a childhood.     All my life , I grew up with strong women who showed th...

Its that moment of clarity , where you finally feel like your in a good place . Your ready to leave it all behind, to take a chance. And although the road may feel shaky , and unsure somehow you feel like its time. Its time to fully leave the past behind , to quit looking back, to stop thinking that somehow . The person that broke your heart , that abused you will come back. That somehow everything will be better , and normal . Its not and it will never be, a tiger will never fully change its stripes. Im ready to feel butterflies , when I hear my name called . To be called beautiful , for who I am now not someone I will be in the future. But for who I am now , to sit down and have dinner and watch a movie , to cuddle with someone and feel my heart full. To stop the feeling of walking on egg shells and know that they will love you no matter what. To have someone passionate for you and to serve the lord. To wake up in the morning and see them beside you. To hopefully wake up one day i...

So , I am going to update you all on the journey so far , I have stepped up the work and the effort to lose the stubborn weight that I have been carrying all these days. Since the semester has ended my two hour workouts , have been shorted to an 30 min workout at the most. I am going to try to do my best to take back the time that I have lost and add one more hour , for the total of 3 hours spread out through the day. Two here , one here , and one last one somewhere in between . I think the word for this Sumner , would be confidence to have the passion to dive after my weight loss goals and crush them. I already have crushed one goal , to pass a certain physical fitness test I need to run 1.50 in 15 min , I can run 1.00 in 17 , so I need to cut that down. But its a start , As well as having a meal plan and sticking to it . Sweets and junk every once in awhile more like once a month or so. Sticking with a plan makes something more worthwhile.  Until next time.  start wei...

I dont think in a normal sense that , I did not move on.. I just somehow held hope that maybe. Though he was horrible match , I still loved him with my whole being. And I am still effected to this day by the things that happened. I am now , ripping off that imaginary band -aid allowing the wound to bleed its course to heal and to repair and scab over. We travel we search that whole world for someone who would understand what we feel. And when we think that we have found that person , its so hard to let go.  When that person has found someone else.  You have to stop , stop bringing up the memories , stop looking to the past to fulfill the hurt that has long since past.  But somehow , even years from now I know that we will somehow think about the past . Though we do our best not to. We will still remember the gifts the trips , the love that was shared no matter the harder times that were shared. He has moved on and so should you. You need , I need to allow myself to ...

Its hard for me not to , but I still think what or where would be now? Would we be married? Would we be living in Texas ? What would be doing? I know Im better off without you , but there are those moments where I miss you. I see you in other people , and I know thats wrong , I should not miss you I should be thinking about the bad times. But I still remember the way that you smelled , the curious look in your eye when you were up to no good. The childlike wonder , I still think what would be today , if we never departed what would we be? These are my random thoughts..

I think I have started this journey several times with progress and then no progress. I know I can loose the weight , and I know I have the will power to keep going. I believe my lowest weight was 216 at some point. At the moment , I am resting at a five pound loss which was a start with weight loss at 256 pounds. Its something honestly and I do feel frustrated that I have not gotten as far nor lost as much weight as I could or would like to do. But I honestly have to tell you this is a work in progress , all jokes aside somedays you drink all your water goals and work out as hard and as best you can. Then somedays you have cookies and junk food for your meals because you are traveling. There is a real balance there and you dont need to beat yourself up because it goes wrong. I skipped a week's worth of workouts and gym time because I needed to get some things done at school. And my work schedule changed, everything is a work in progress , whats frustrating is getting those peop...

I have been neglecting my blogging duties ever since Spring Break and I am sorry. I am trying to come up with more content other than my life. When I created this blog I wanted it to be something that I was proud of something that I could share with the world. As well now being something to help others, those who are struggling with certain aspects of their lives. I want this to be a tool that they know they can read and know that they are not alone.  Now I guess I can go on with my Updates ,  I am now nearing one of my last semesters in College , so everything has gotten to be very stressful. And a million thoughts running through my head most days. I still have not found my internship , got my taxes done , nor completed my Fasfa . And somehow .. now tracking my social security.. trying to remember if I put the right number down . Or if I am going to have to correct my number somehow.. or if that is even possible. I guess you can say I have got senioris bad , and that i...