Wild and Faithful Heart

its been forever since I wrote , what can I say? life has gotten the best of me. Writing seems to help me when I seem at my lowest. I want people to know I am the same person who I was two years ago , im also wiser as well . I'm trying so hard to live the life I live , but everywhere I seem to turn im treated like a child told that im doing wrong shaking their finger at me. Its disappointing , when I feel finally I think im going to be treated right by others im not. Anyways to other worries or rather things in my life , I understand completely I look like im breaking my own rules. That I made when I was younger , do I wish I could have slowed down? yea I really do. But where I am , I'm happy im loved , im accepted for who I am inside and out . I'm currently without a job but im hoping to go back to one of my former ones in Aug . Fingers crossed! Anyways not much of a update but . its a update.

I'm sitting here watching the vow , and wondering how I would react to losing a year of my memories. In the movie she loses five , but I instead will think about a year ago , a year ago I was in college and studying and engaged to john. Thinking that I had everything planned out apart from being married to someone I never met nor hugged or kissed. Catfish its called these days , and online dating he seemed to have the same values I did so I was thrilled to find someone and he seemed to love me but what I found out was love really wasn't love . He cheated on me repeatedly and made up excuses why we couldn't see each other  , so impart sooner or later he ended our relationship because his part , he was stressed that he couldn't be there for me and my mother wasn't much help because she thought he wasn't good for me. But moving forward impart I think it was better for us to depart and stay as ex's . Now im with someone I couldn't imagine life without  our f

I'm christian, and that is me .  What im sick of is how christian's are seen in the outside world what ive seen is that we are seen as stuck-up , rude  and we think that we are better than everyone. And sadly ive seen proof of it all , we need to change this show the world that we aren't all the same and we aren't . But then there is the world changing around us which is full temptation . And its hard , have I gave in? yes .. I'm not proud of it and im trying to change for the better . But also I lose faith in others who seem to get me down , and try to tell me that I should go their way . Because what im doing is wrong , when often apart from a few small factors im doing better . And im not the one to repeat my parents mistakes. I've risen above that , but then I have feelings of failure , that sometimes the world would be better off without me. It doesn't help when those you look up to you tell you that in their eyes you have failed. I'm trying to giv