Forever , with me

-
Its that moment of clarity , where you finally feel like your in a good place . Your ready to leave it all behind, to take a chance. And although the road may feel shaky , and unsure somehow you feel like its time. Its time to fully leave the past behind , to quit looking back, to stop thinking that somehow . The person that broke your heart , that abused you will come back. That somehow everything will be better , and normal . Its not and it will never be, a tiger will never fully change its stripes.
Im ready to feel butterflies , when I hear my name called . To be called beautiful , for who I am now not someone I will be in the future. But for who I am now , to sit down and have dinner and watch a movie , to cuddle with someone and feel my heart full. To stop the feeling of walking on egg shells and know that they will love you no matter what. To have someone passionate for you and to serve the lord. To wake up in the morning and see them beside you. To hopefully wake up one day in the future to small feet on the floor in the morning and your bed full and your heart full. I dream of forever with someone I love , to when the times get tough not to walk out but to try harder and win. Because when a foundation is cracked you dont buy another house you fix it and move on. Because I dream of forever with someone , who will love me forever...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Recovery and Moving on with your life : Its a Process..

-
Image
Its coming up on two years since I packed up my stuff and left the place that I called home for the last three years. Though I dont feel like I should drag out my posts on what happened , then I feel like its a step in a long recovery of loving myself. And loving things before I associated them with him. Tears pouring down my face, I was told things would not change. But they did , I lost a pet ,  I lost someone that I thought loved me. Maybe he did at some point , but the love wasn't there anymore and thinking about it now . I really wish most days I left sooner, one step with recovery is you start liking and doing things you did during the relationship. Talking with a counselor , she also spoke of it being a remembrance of good memories not the bad ones.  I took a small step in that with cooking an egg in a nest, which is a piece of bread with an egg in the middle. Which was something that I loved , when I was with him. He actually made them for me when we first started d...
Read more

When it comes down to it .. You Gave Up , I did not ..

-
Image
When it comes down to it , and its the brutal truth . Maybe someday you will read this or maybe not. Most days I believe that I kept going despite all the craziness that went with your life. If I honestly gave up then I would have left a long time ago. I stuck it out for 3 years, and when it comes close to say it. I would not have changed it for the world , you showed  me so much , what I wanted to have and what I did not need to deal with or deserve. When I do get in that mood or I think about what could have happened. I was the one who was wanting to stick it out until the end. I was the one who would have climbed mountains for you. When you did the basics , you were loving you were there for me when it counted. But at the same time , you lost that same spirit that you once had. But I still remember that day , when you gave up . When you said that is enough , when you sat and told me all these lies. And dont get me wrong , I thought at the time , it was the truth. YOU were the...
Read more

Sometimes you Just have to work at it.

-
Image
Good Relationships , Dont Just happen they are built over a span of time . Sometimes are riddled with mistakes and sometimes things are just jumped quick. For example , my relationship is something that at the same is the most unperfect thing in the world. We jumped things way too quick, we moved in too quick and we did a lot of things way too quick. Our relationship does need work and  we do know it. Sometimes well all the time you need to be honest with yourself , sometimes change is good when thinking about a lot of things. As I'm not going into details because that is my private life , but honestly when thinking about it sometimes change is good. And sometimes change is needed when improving a relationship. You just have to work at it.
Read more