Sanctus Real - Lead Me

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If I could..

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 If I could I would say this.. since you've been in my life . You've made me feel like somehow I can conquer the world and try my best at anything. When your name lights up on my phone , I smile one of those smiles that you love. Just honestly friends right now , but I want to know you more and learn more and keep having you around me. You make me laugh with the silliest and stupidest things , you make me want to be better for myself and you. I know that our pasts have been not the greatest and we've had pain and things that we regret. You tell me , your keeping your distance because your scared at what I will think. But still, I want you to come closer to draw closer within your own time. Please don't ever feel that you aren't enough. Don't ever think that I wont turn away.. somehow things work out for a reason and things are still smoky as I would call it. We don't know where this is going to go.. but I still see something there I just don't know what
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Recovery and Moving on with your life : Its a Process..

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Its coming up on two years since I packed up my stuff and left the place that I called home for the last three years. Though I dont feel like I should drag out my posts on what happened , then I feel like its a step in a long recovery of loving myself. And loving things before I associated them with him. Tears pouring down my face, I was told things would not change. But they did , I lost a pet ,  I lost someone that I thought loved me. Maybe he did at some point , but the love wasn't there anymore and thinking about it now . I really wish most days I left sooner, one step with recovery is you start liking and doing things you did during the relationship. Talking with a counselor , she also spoke of it being a remembrance of good memories not the bad ones.  I took a small step in that with cooking an egg in a nest, which is a piece of bread with an egg in the middle. Which was something that I loved , when I was with him. He actually made them for me when we first started dating
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TV Watching , This is what I do ...

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Well not all the time , I dont spend all day watching Tv. But yes I do watch tv among other things.  The new fall network , lineup has been here for awhile, and I thought I would share my thoughts on some old favorites and new ones that I have grown custom to watching over the summer break. This is us , (NBC) is one of those drama's that keeps you interested but wondering what is going on. I have only watched one episode , but read a few reviews yes I know that I am behind several episodes.  Westworld, (HBO) I have watched the first two episodes and really just want to binge watch this show. After one episode I was hooked, this show though I have not watched the movie that inspired the series. It just leaves you wanting more, I just love the whole world.  Timeless( NBC) this is one of those sci like shows that keeps you wondering. A group of time travelers are trying to prevent history from being written or rather unwritten. This is a favorite of my siblings , we watch t
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