Wild and Faithful Heart

Well , December is almost over  and everyone will soon be making those resolutions. I honestly dont believe in making them anymore. What the best possible thing to do is making short goals to meet rather than something you will dump and avoid weeks later. Though there is somewhat of the month left , I thought I would make short term goals before the month. I want to keep these goals short and then as well I want to make a long term goals . That need to be attainable. As always I guess you can say as well I am not the best at making my goals and living through them. But hey no one is perfect nor do they always meet their goals. I have several goals in mind but I am going to try to meet them. I guess you can say I will have several thoughts or rather subjects in mind. Short term Goals For December: Getting my Study Ready and my Recipes For Daniel Fasting.  Cleaning and getting rid of Clutter in my Apartment    Emailing and talking to companies to sponsor/revi...

My son and I drove over a bridge we’d driven over a hundred and one times. It happened to be dark. Very dark. Son, let me ask you a question, “How do you know that water is still there?” He said, “Well Mommy, I know it is there because it’s just how it is. Water goes there.” I wonder if we approach God the same way? We know God is there, because he just IS. God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM.  (Ex. 3:14) God IS who he IS. He IS with us. He IS for us. He IS fighting on our behalf. He IS liberator. He IS hope. He IS light. He IS creator. He IS Savior. The truth IS: God has you. God so has you. More than your mind can conceive. That issue before you? God already walked ahead of it. The idea you’ll fail? He knows your way. The fear your children will get hurt? He is their hope. The past that haunts you? By his stripes you are healed. (Is. 53:5) The inadequacies that berate you? In your weakness, his power is perfected. (2 Cor. 12:9) When...

I just thought I would share my feelings , And my life now as the holiday's come close. And another year has passed, Its been two years since I have said goodbye to the life I knew for 3 years. And since then I can honestly say I have changed. My life is different I am so close to my last semester of College. Walking the stage and moving on with the rest of my life. I am active in the church , I participate and I help with youth group. I am a leader in the college ministry and I am apart of it. I am going to try yet again to loose weight , Though I  have lost some weight. Funny enough , its a up and down thing with the weight thing . But I am trying to do my best , I am going to try my first modified fasting. And starting to get greater into the word and my prayers. I often think about life and what it would truly be if I did not leave. But yet I leave that to the imagination. I just rather not think about it. I just rather continue on with my life and enjoy time. I hope for th...

I have just recently watched the movie Moana, which is apart and tells the story of some of the vast history of the Polynesian culture. That there is , this movie was one of the many favorites I hope some families loved. As I did , coming up the movie Coco , dives somewhat to a level to explain Hispanic culture. I feel these sort of movies need to happen more often for those families that steam from that culture. Then also new families that need something to expand kids culture . Sort of expanding the world around them and helpful when needing something worthwhile. I know this one one of my shortest posts that I have ever made but I think its worthwhile . To share that there needs to be more cultural movies made to reach out to those who may not understand it . When there is more teaching and more learning it makes everything worthwhile.

You have now made it to Winter Break ? Now what , its Time to relax and renew and hopefully get some rest after some taxing finals. But what really do you do between christmas and new years? What comes down to the nitty gritty of sitting at home having nothing to do? Well For me Its usually a time to catch to plan . But when you plan things do not usually work out. But with that being said, there is so much that can be done. With this blog and so much more that I am trying to plan out. But what about others? Without being too lazy what can you do? make goals plan for tomorrow  organize  watch tv  These are a few simple things I can make these lists over and over and still be left with a whole lot of other postings and such. It doesnt matter much though , but then its pretty awesome it just depends on what is going on with my life.  But when I comes down to it , I hope you make your break for what it is worth and hopefully get some things done!  ...

I am a Survivor , the words ring true in my life. I have been through a lot . Just recently I shared a shorter version of my testimony. Which left out some things that are important but dont get to the core of things. That was a small side project. I dont like talking about it , but here on my blog. I feel free to share my emotions , for people to take it as it is. I dont see their reactions and I am able to share my life. And have it as a form of therapy , I run two blogs as some of you know and my main focus is my review blog. But this blog , I have not abandoned because its my way of sharing my feelings my life and having some sort of inspiration. For someone who may have randomly stumbled upon my blog. And for any known reason , may have needed it at that time. Just recently , we have lost some students to suicide ... No one likes to talk about it , No one likes to admit it , But we all have our struggles. We fight almost every single day with the fight in our minds . Some cho...

I have posted my testimony through out my time here on the blog. But as most people know testimonies change as you go throughout your life. Your story changes things happen and you learn new things. My life has always been with the church I grew up christian , I went to VBS and then soon after that I went to church camp. But throughout that, I had times in my life where I wondered if God was really there. My brothers sickness , both of them as infants dealt with sickness while in the hospital one recovered while the other is still monitored closely . There was other times , but this is going to be short. Either way I worried about the future and what it held for me , I was a senior in high school . And I was a mess , I was worried about what would happen in the next few years. While at church camp during worship no doubt I felt this calming presence. Just letting me know that I am alright and everything would be alright. And somehow I knew that feeling was just right. Well college c...

What attracts you on Love? This isn't as much an open ended question as a question for debate. It is not really as specific as you would like. I mean what would attract me on love? what is the qualities that I look for in a potential boyfriend? Then there is the other question what does love mean to you? I guess I can answer some or maybe all of these questions. Love is something that is unfiltered and raw. Something that can make you feel your best on one day. And then the next feel like the most alone person in the room. It can be a mother loving her kids enough to make sure they eat before her. Or someone as much as giving away their last dollar to someone so they can eat. Love can and does come in all shapes and sizes. Then I guess comes with the open ended question , what does attract me to someone? Do I have a specific list? Must they meet certain qualifications? First I honestly dont feel as if I should do that to someone you cannot make them into something their not. ...

This is another , blogging challenge,  What makes you Sad    This is often or easy difficult thing to talk about there are so many things to be sad about. I can cry about all the troubles in the world or what is going on with others. I can shed tears with them. I though can often cry about broken relationships. With those who are in my past , which I was reminded of today. And it hurts , to put so much into something and then get nothing in return. When thinking about it that is what truly makes me sad. As well , trying so hard to feel open and move on with your life. You look at photos and see what was of that time and what could have been.  But these photos and the memories they do not help when recovery is something that you want to do. Nor is trying to drag out those feelings that you once felt for that person. It is something worthwhile, though to remember those feelings that you once felt but you need to remember that it is something in the past. ...

Day 18: a photograph of yourself , I thought this was a candid pic of me .. Lol braving the wind 💨 today have a safe holiday everyone 🦃 A photo posted by Bianca Nunez (@girlygirl4evers29) on Nov 22, 2016 at   Day19: Your Favorite Movie: Ok on this one I am a little off I really dont have a favorite movie. I love a lot of movies I am more than likely to give you a list of certain movies that I like rather than just one movie. Which is weird, and then some more. I am a verified movie buff this was a really random subject to talk about.

Well it has been an eventful week , the semester is wrapping up and I am trying my hardest to pass with a c and b with my two classes. I made small steps into moving on with my life , Though I felt like I rushed the process when I first broke up. Now somehow I am going backwards and making a better effort. But its hard , it really is my mother was admitted to the hospital on Wednesday night and I had to officially be an adult. It sucks when the other person , than your mother who use to calm you down isnt there anymore. Sitting in the surgery waiting room , alone.. made me a mess. I wished he was there I wished somehow this would make him come. But honestly I knew this wasn't a movie , one of those romantic silly ones.  But I got through it , I had a friend who came by and sat with me my siblings came. But somehow in my mind , I thought about him , wondering what he was doing. Some how I need to stop these thoughts but this is my random thoughts post. School is wrapping up and I...

Its coming up on two years since I packed up my stuff and left the place that I called home for the last three years. Though I dont feel like I should drag out my posts on what happened , then I feel like its a step in a long recovery of loving myself. And loving things before I associated them with him. Tears pouring down my face, I was told things would not change. But they did , I lost a pet ,  I lost someone that I thought loved me. Maybe he did at some point , but the love wasn't there anymore and thinking about it now . I really wish most days I left sooner, one step with recovery is you start liking and doing things you did during the relationship. Talking with a counselor , she also spoke of it being a remembrance of good memories not the bad ones.  I took a small step in that with cooking an egg in a nest, which is a piece of bread with an egg in the middle. Which was something that I loved , when I was with him. He actually made them for me when we first started d...

Day 15: Where Do you see yourself in the Next Five years? In the next five years well that is something, to think about I mean everyone asks. Especially college students, I honestly hope that I am graduated and have my degree in criminal justice. With the plans that I have which include traveling and working as a missionary around the world. Which is a huge dream, and scary dream of mine. I hope comes in some sort of form. My dreams though I know arent really or may be in the plans for me. Which have always been dream and I hope they come true, is like I have which is to graduate , move from NM , fall in love again . Learn how to trust someone, again with my heart, and hope that we can pursue what God has in store for the both of us. Get married heck maybe have a few kids or even one. I wouldn't mind , get another pet. Though I feel like I could do that already I know I have to work , on myself and love myself again before I love someone else. Which I am slowly doing , and it ...

  Day 12 of the Blogging Challenge: Your Favorite Childhood Book  I dont really have a favorite book , honestly if you knew me when I was a child. I read a lot of books when I was tested in the first grade. I was told I was reading at the 11-12th grade level. I was told to read chapter books. But I still read within my reading level though when I was in 2nd grade I read harry potter and tested on those. Smart.. and yes as an adult I still read. With the same fascination and love as I had when I was a child. So I will be highlighting one of my favorite authors instead. I love the Robert Munsch books. These held my fascination as a child I loved the colorful world and the stories he told. My favorites were purple green and yellow , the paper bag princess just to name a few. These were so funny , and I loved them  and I owned a few copies. That my mother read to me as a child , whats funny is librarian's who have worked at the public library remember me as a child and ch...

Day 11 of the Blogging Challenge: Ten Favorite Foods  I am so far behind but its helpful , Though I cannot really post any or all specific pictures of my favorite foods I can tell you what I love to eat. I love Watermelon , its an anytime of the year thing for me.  I love Spanish rice , especially when it is cooked by my mother. I love cherry or strawberry cheesecake when I was smaller I did not like cheesecake at all and now I love it!  I love tater tot casserole I love  enchiladas the sour cream ones are the best!  I love melon  I love strawberries I love different kinds of chex mix.   I love a good hamburger  Traditional Mexican Food, real food .. and trust me its different than what is served here in the USA.  Its a short and sweet post , I love more but these are usually more specific ones that I will always eat and love .

Day 10: The best trip you have ever taken.  So , I have been to a few places I have been to mexico twice both on missions. I have been to California for a Youth meeting of sorts. I have been to Florida twice , once on missions and youth meeting at the same time. The other time was for an actual vacation with my best friend , even though I would count my missions trips as vacations to me in most words. I have been to Texas countless times for youth rallies and church stuff and then for an actual vacation and seeing family. So I have traveled , I mainly do missions because that is apart of my heart. Is spreading the word of God to those who may not know it or honestly to bring comfort to those who need it.  I think my best ever trip is a combination of mission trips that I have taken , even though I can admit. Going on vacation for yourself is fun , it doesn't leave the same impression that missions can have. My last well 2nd to last mission trip that I have been on was a...

Day 9: What is in Your Bag? I dont really carry a purse much anymore , I cannot seem to find one that I am really in love with enough to carry one around. I can though tell you what is in my backpack since that is with me almost everyday. I have my school books , supplies , and other various school items  I have a beauty bag with lip stuff , and other items  sunglasses  women stuff for that time of the month my blogging and meeting journal  my planner the current book I am reading  I know its such a short post today , but I just have a lot on my mind. If anything please , love others today and please be kind.

Day 7 Five Favorite Songs: Honestly , this is another hard question for me when it comes down to it. I love music , Though I mostly stay away from "secular" music . Pardon my terms , I do still listen to my favorites I cannot completely abandon those and then I do have new favorites. First I love anything From For king and country and I was blessed to see them perform about two weeks ago. I love taylor swift and yes I am a swiftie , the current songs on repeat from her are out of the woods , back to december , and all too well. As you can somewhat tell my ex has been on my mind and it doesnt help that what would have been five or four years.. I rather not keep count . We would have been together , we were together for 3 years and were on the road to getting married... but I digress. I love Little Big Towns new single better man. Which also brings light to my feelings around this time , also figures why I seem to dream about him this time. From my christian roots , I lov...

 Day 4 Your Dream Job:   My dream Job , is a combination of a couple of things I would and I love my criminal justice degree. I want to help those who have been wronged at the same time I would like to help stop human trafficking . I want to bring light on womens issues at the same time I also would like to help prevent domestic abuse. So there is a lot I wish I could do , so at the same time I dont know what my dream job would be . I just have so much passion for the things that I love. Day 5 Your Proudest moment: This one is somewhat tough because I dont have just one moment . I have a few and a few here and there . I cannot just name one which is bad or good? I really dont know.. Day 6 The thing that you are most afraid of: I have a fear of being alone , for the rest of my life. Though a lot of people say and know that sometimes you are ment to be single. And somehow I dont know if someone else is in the cards for me. Somehow I do feel , though that hopefully s...

So Today is my blogging challenge Catch Up Today, I made a promise to keep up with it and honestly it does help my writing. I will be writing up and stopping at day 3, so now you get to know a little bit about me. Day one: Blog Name  Honestly now that my life has changed for the better and I soon will graduate college hopefully. I will be changing the name. And hope my readers stay with me, I started this blog as a journal of sorts and I started it in college hence the name. At the same time it also went by another name , since I was in a relationship. Short story but simple. Day Two:20 facts about you ok 20 facts ... I am a introvert with extrovert days , somedays you can honestly get me out of my shell.  I am a huge movie and film buff  I am a cat lover  I have been an extra in a movie , and My degree use to be in acting  I love reading but haven't found the time to read my long list of to read  I love blogging  I love to shoot , and I...

These are general notes for myself ,  and upcoming posts that I will feature on this blog.  I will be doing another challenge as well that you could read. . I want to thank you for your continued support of this blog.

Halloween was yesterday, and with that came a lot of costumes. So many different costumes that people wore and had fun with. When I write this post I want people to be informed, and to let them know. I am not here to bash anyone , for wearing a day of the dead costume. I just want people to know the historical thought behind it. Its been a recent trend , for stores to group both holiday's day of the dead. And Halloween together , their decorations are on the same shelf's and somehow people think of them as the same thing.  Day of the Dead or rather  El Dia de los Muertos , is a special Holiday that is celebrated after Halloween on November 1st. The day after Halloween  , this originated from tradition in mexico to celebrate and be with loved ones that have passed on. Celebrate their time on earth , This is usually celebrated with food , and drinks and parades . And alters that are usually made up at a families home to celebrate those who have passed on. They u...

Now being who , I am personally I am not one who really goes out for Halloween. I have a few friends and family that do . I personally , do not feel like I should fully celebrate and I do not because I am christian. But honestly dont , mind candy I dont mind get together's and pumpkins. I love the cooler weather , and the breeze. Anything but , Sumner thats what I think , I know some people love it. But , its awesome now that there is cooler weather so what are my favorite activities? I love fall walking , in the evening at dusk that is the best time for a walk. I love watching real spooky shows , I hate fake horror.  seeing all the lovely Halloween decorations.   ALL my shows are back!!! fall new seasons come back and the list is long watching holiday themed shows and movies! I love doing all these things, because though fall is ok , its just one step closer to winter. And then its just one step closer to Christmas! Which is one of my favorite holidays . But I kno...

Well not all the time , I dont spend all day watching Tv. But yes I do watch tv among other things.  The new fall network , lineup has been here for awhile, and I thought I would share my thoughts on some old favorites and new ones that I have grown custom to watching over the summer break. This is us , (NBC) is one of those drama's that keeps you interested but wondering what is going on. I have only watched one episode , but read a few reviews yes I know that I am behind several episodes.  Westworld, (HBO) I have watched the first two episodes and really just want to binge watch this show. After one episode I was hooked, this show though I have not watched the movie that inspired the series. It just leaves you wanting more, I just love the whole world.  Timeless( NBC) this is one of those sci like shows that keeps you wondering. A group of time travelers are trying to prevent history from being written or rather unwritten. This is a favorite of my siblings , ...

My Life, " Purpose is born out of passion" , is one of the quotes that sticks with me. But what does it mean? Well to me , mostly I believe when you feel passionate about something. It can almost mean anything, but for me. I mostly have the passion to serve others , my mother raised me to have the passion to serve. It was something as small as collecting items for kids in Russia or being helpful to the teacher. Washing boards and keep the classroom clean, when I went into grade school , I loved working in the cafeteria . I served other students , and ate my lunch when everyone was finished eating. Though being an introverted personality with extroverted times in my life , I loved being the person behind the scenes. Growing up I had dreams of being a missionary or a speaker traveling the world and helping out. Talking to people about my experiences, how I lived my life. As I became a teenager , I struggled with my self-worth and somehow I knew I wanted to help those who f...

I think its been awhile since ive posted a blog about me, Dont worry that one is coming. This is mainly an update. Life is hectic, most of my week is spent at church which I dont mind . Its what I do , most of my time is spent in the ministry. School is going well for the most part , taking Math again for the 3rd time and yes you heard me 3rd time. Seems to be going well , ive been holding down a C for most of the semester, I hope to raise it to a B. My other class is going well , the best that I can do. I often think about how much life is different from this time 3 years or 2 years ago. I often feel like that time of my life was teaching me about the years to come. Those who are barely tuning in to my personal blog, I was seeing someone and it was a semi-serious relationship. We lived together , shared a bank account, and the list goes on. I often now state that we had a bipolar relationship which is the whole truth. We had a good relationship , then we did not ...

This is a subject that recently has been near and dear to my heart. You dont really know the meaning of love yourself . When you are a survivor of emotional/mental abuse , I heard on the news today that emotional/mental abuse usually leads to physical abuse down the road. I tend to tell others that I had a bipolar relationship with my ex. In front of everyone we were this picture perfect couple , and then behind closed doors once every few months we yelled or disagreed on something. And sometimes he loved to belittle or be honest with me . About certain things , and this would not be in private usually in the company of friends. And it was embarrassing I began to lose my self worth, and what self-esteem I had. I remember one comment I still live with , you wonder why I dont touch you as often?. That seemed to stick with me towards the end, and sometimes it still does. If you are a survivor , of bullying , physical , or mental , or emotional abuse. Or of sexual trauma , I stand with ...