Wild and Faithful Heart

Now being who , I am personally I am not one who really goes out for Halloween. I have a few friends and family that do . I personally , do not feel like I should fully celebrate and I do not because I am christian. But honestly dont , mind candy I dont mind get together's and pumpkins. I love the cooler weather , and the breeze. Anything but , Sumner thats what I think , I know some people love it. But , its awesome now that there is cooler weather so what are my favorite activities? I love fall walking , in the evening at dusk that is the best time for a walk. I love watching real spooky shows , I hate fake horror.  seeing all the lovely Halloween decorations.   ALL my shows are back!!! fall new seasons come back and the list is long watching holiday themed shows and movies! I love doing all these things, because though fall is ok , its just one step closer to winter. And then its just one step closer to Christmas! Which is one of my favorite holidays . But I kno...

Well not all the time , I dont spend all day watching Tv. But yes I do watch tv among other things.  The new fall network , lineup has been here for awhile, and I thought I would share my thoughts on some old favorites and new ones that I have grown custom to watching over the summer break. This is us , (NBC) is one of those drama's that keeps you interested but wondering what is going on. I have only watched one episode , but read a few reviews yes I know that I am behind several episodes.  Westworld, (HBO) I have watched the first two episodes and really just want to binge watch this show. After one episode I was hooked, this show though I have not watched the movie that inspired the series. It just leaves you wanting more, I just love the whole world.  Timeless( NBC) this is one of those sci like shows that keeps you wondering. A group of time travelers are trying to prevent history from being written or rather unwritten. This is a favorite of my siblings , ...

My Life, " Purpose is born out of passion" , is one of the quotes that sticks with me. But what does it mean? Well to me , mostly I believe when you feel passionate about something. It can almost mean anything, but for me. I mostly have the passion to serve others , my mother raised me to have the passion to serve. It was something as small as collecting items for kids in Russia or being helpful to the teacher. Washing boards and keep the classroom clean, when I went into grade school , I loved working in the cafeteria . I served other students , and ate my lunch when everyone was finished eating. Though being an introverted personality with extroverted times in my life , I loved being the person behind the scenes. Growing up I had dreams of being a missionary or a speaker traveling the world and helping out. Talking to people about my experiences, how I lived my life. As I became a teenager , I struggled with my self-worth and somehow I knew I wanted to help those who f...

I think its been awhile since ive posted a blog about me, Dont worry that one is coming. This is mainly an update. Life is hectic, most of my week is spent at church which I dont mind . Its what I do , most of my time is spent in the ministry. School is going well for the most part , taking Math again for the 3rd time and yes you heard me 3rd time. Seems to be going well , ive been holding down a C for most of the semester, I hope to raise it to a B. My other class is going well , the best that I can do. I often think about how much life is different from this time 3 years or 2 years ago. I often feel like that time of my life was teaching me about the years to come. Those who are barely tuning in to my personal blog, I was seeing someone and it was a semi-serious relationship. We lived together , shared a bank account, and the list goes on. I often now state that we had a bipolar relationship which is the whole truth. We had a good relationship , then we did not ...

This is a subject that recently has been near and dear to my heart. You dont really know the meaning of love yourself . When you are a survivor of emotional/mental abuse , I heard on the news today that emotional/mental abuse usually leads to physical abuse down the road. I tend to tell others that I had a bipolar relationship with my ex. In front of everyone we were this picture perfect couple , and then behind closed doors once every few months we yelled or disagreed on something. And sometimes he loved to belittle or be honest with me . About certain things , and this would not be in private usually in the company of friends. And it was embarrassing I began to lose my self worth, and what self-esteem I had. I remember one comment I still live with , you wonder why I dont touch you as often?. That seemed to stick with me towards the end, and sometimes it still does. If you are a survivor , of bullying , physical , or mental , or emotional abuse. Or of sexual trauma , I stand with ...

I haven't talked on here in awhile , and other than my usual talk. I thought I would talk about different parts of my life. And since this is the net , as I would call it when I talk about other family members I usually refer them to their first name or a different name altogether. To keep them safe , and to keep my family safe. Ok back to my post I just thought I would make that Clear to some who wonder and read this blog. Anyways , somedays I can remember the first day when my mother told me she was pregnant. I was in 2nd grade I believe and I was ecstatic and curious. Most of my life till that time wondered how it would be to have a sibling. What it would be , and what would happen. Who knew , I grew up more faster than I thought? My mother is a single mother if no one knew. So I became and starting to take on the role of big sister and little mommy. I dont want anyone to think my mother did not do her job. Shes a wonderful mother , but she thought it would be a good time to te...