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Recovery and Moving on with your life : Its a Process..

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Its coming up on two years since I packed up my stuff and left the place that I called home for the last three years. Though I dont feel like I should drag out my posts on what happened , then I feel like its a step in a long recovery of loving myself. And loving things before I associated them with him. Tears pouring down my face, I was told things would not change. But they did , I lost a pet ,  I lost someone that I thought loved me. Maybe he did at some point , but the love wasn't there anymore and thinking about it now . I really wish most days I left sooner, one step with recovery is you start liking and doing things you did during the relationship. Talking with a counselor , she also spoke of it being a remembrance of good memories not the bad ones.  I took a small step in that with cooking an egg in a nest, which is a piece of bread with an egg in the middle. Which was something that I loved , when I was with him. He actually made them for me when we first started d...
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When it comes down to it .. You Gave Up , I did not ..

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When it comes down to it , and its the brutal truth . Maybe someday you will read this or maybe not. Most days I believe that I kept going despite all the craziness that went with your life. If I honestly gave up then I would have left a long time ago. I stuck it out for 3 years, and when it comes close to say it. I would not have changed it for the world , you showed  me so much , what I wanted to have and what I did not need to deal with or deserve. When I do get in that mood or I think about what could have happened. I was the one who was wanting to stick it out until the end. I was the one who would have climbed mountains for you. When you did the basics , you were loving you were there for me when it counted. But at the same time , you lost that same spirit that you once had. But I still remember that day , when you gave up . When you said that is enough , when you sat and told me all these lies. And dont get me wrong , I thought at the time , it was the truth. YOU were the...
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Sometimes you Just have to work at it.

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Good Relationships , Dont Just happen they are built over a span of time . Sometimes are riddled with mistakes and sometimes things are just jumped quick. For example , my relationship is something that at the same is the most unperfect thing in the world. We jumped things way too quick, we moved in too quick and we did a lot of things way too quick. Our relationship does need work and  we do know it. Sometimes well all the time you need to be honest with yourself , sometimes change is good when thinking about a lot of things. As I'm not going into details because that is my private life , but honestly when thinking about it sometimes change is good. And sometimes change is needed when improving a relationship. You just have to work at it.
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