Life is Calm , and Life a Year later.

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Its been about a full year and several months , since I left and never looked back and honestly I want to say two years almost. 
My life , is an endless journey of finding who I am and where I am going after college . Along with taking greater steps in my life. Last January , I felt lost and alone wondering what was going to happen. I had my family and I had others that seem to lift me out of the hole I put myself in. Though there was some aspects of my relationship that were good , I mean the abuse wasn't there at some points in my life. It still did not excuse the fact that , there was certain things wrong about my relationship, wires were crossed things just did not add up. Why did he say he love me and then insult me sometimes behind closed doors? I had a dream the other night , visiting him at a house his friends and his family talking about a baby that he was going to have with his girlfriend. Then finally getting some time alone with him to ask him how he felt. Things went well , until I brought up why he just could not be honest with me. Why he had to dangle hope of us on a string just to cut it a few weeks later? why could he just been honest and said its over I dont feel the same way anymore? I want to see other people. I remember crying and him hugging me saying nothing is going to change why bother . Everything has changed , I have certainly changed in the fact that I realized that it wasn't a healthy relationship that I was in. I remember towards the end disagreeing with the counselor who was trying to get me to leave. Telling me that those are words that someone who loves should not say.
2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (KJV)
My life , though gaining a new church family, learning the way of the church and finally feeling ok and working hard on my school work. I feel as I have a purpose in my life. That I was not seeing before. Though there was times in my life I knew or rather thought I knew what I wanted to do in my life. I feel , like I have an idea and I know through my life I know that I will have Christ there to guide me. In my steps as I move and as I see what is in store for me. Dont get me wrong, I dont mean the worst for my ex or his family. I actually pray when I can for them. I pray for light and guidance and protection. Because they will always think of him. 

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