A post to the one who broke my heart

Its over. the words ring in my head. its a thought process you go through. I dont write much in my personal blog. I mainly update my other blog which is chalk full of reviews. So what do you do when the only life you knew for the last 3 years is changed forever? He wasn't my fiance but he was the closest thing to it. There is a lot of blame to go around it just wasn't one person, we jumped into things too quickly. We promised each other things we could not fulfill and now its just silence things left unsaid . I love you's never to be said again , And it hurts so badly like a emptiness that cannot be fulfilled until time is past.  

Now that its over I often drift to the start where did I go wrong? where did I start going wrong? Did I try hard enough? why do I feel like I have let myself down and others? The questions ring in my head. I have my own apartment now , and im moving on. Im looking at other guys im making new "manships" as I call them. Maybe one of them will turn into something more , Do I believe maybe there is hope down the line? that maybe my story will end like a fairytale? or a romance movie . The long lost lover coming back? No honestly we write our own stories  Do I personally believe that he might come back? no.. going to a counselor has given me a lot of thought and consideration about my own feelings and where I stand. I want to care and I want to feel again , but I feel numb. He was my first love he was the first guy to make me feel pretty make me feel noticed . And now hes gone like the winter snow. I may be this lovesick heart broken fool. But I miss him. And I know that I cannot wait anymore. I want things the way they were , but I know that things are way past the point of no return. I am reminded almost every other day... I dont know these are random thoughts that ring in my head.
Now that I am no longer "in love" and I do not have a cat anymore this blog will change names and will stay the same personal blog and thoughts just new name.