Wild and Faithful Heart

We haven't talked in a few days , or seen each other in months . The days go on and its hard not to believe everything that others tell me. Somehow I thought it would all be different, somehow I thought you were different this time. We finally understood each other , and somehow everything would be different. Now im just here with my thoughts and its hard to not completely think you've changed your mind. Others would tell me be patient while others say your covering for another life you've started with someone else. Its hard not to think you just used me , like the past.. its hard not to let the tears fall . Its an on going battle not to block you from all my social media and move on with someone. Start fresh move away from everything and just be selfish for once. But yet here I am waiting.. stupidly on my part I think. Because when it comes down to it .. it will always be you.. my heart somehow will always want you.. Unsure if you'll ever read this but if you do.. ...

This might be a long or a short entry.. The last journal or blog post as we all know it . I wasn't in the best place , I was down a dark hole. Do I often go there ? No I dont I usually tend to have a more positive view on my life. I mean honestly it can be worse . There are so many people that usually tell you that. I started the process to start my career in law enforcement , within this last year. And honestly it has been hard , while I write this post it is currently 43 degrees outside and I am currently planning on going on my daily run\jog. Its truly hard to go , when my body doesn't love it. But I just feel drawn to law enforcement , although graduated with a very broad field. Within this , you also could ask you struggle with stress and anxiety so why bother with a job that is going to throw you in a higher levels of stress and anxiety? I've become a pro at self care and handling how I feel within my life. If you are given the right tools to handle that type of st...

Tonight I sit here and write my feelings out because , I cant calm down otherwise. The time ticks away , as I should be sleeping for work the next day. When I started this blog well .. this one personally I wanted to share my life experiences with the world. I wanted to share my struggles my triumphs and my battles. My dreams and I wanted first to let people know that they are not alone within all of this. That there is someone out there who cares and understands what you are going through. Well , mental health has been here and there in the media lately , and while everyone feels like they know how to fix their friends. To hold their hand , while they rant and rave , or cry do they really know what their friends need? Can you spot someone in the crowd that has been struggling lately? that hides behind a smile , and then goes home alone and cries themselves to sleep at night? No this isn't a self help post , or what to do when your friend is depressed. The one thing that people in...

I haven't written in forever and sometimes thats usually my fault. Life usually gets the better of me and I push this aside. As stated in my last post , I am now an official alumni from my school ENMU. And now I am a substitute teacher for the same school district I actually graduated from in 2010. I subbed for the greater half of my spring semester as they would call it. And I am kinda looking forwarding to maybe sub for a whole school year until I move on to greener pastures somewhere else if  life allows me to. Realizing that work alone and the church activities keep me busy on my own. Usually do the job I often wondered how I survived while I had school going on. Apart from finishing the year , im hopeful to make this the Sumner I actually travel a little bit. Apart from traveling and trying to find a place in this world. I am a Monarch Formals Model for 2018 , Monarch Formals is a non-profit organization that provides formals for those who might not be able to afford that ...

Well its happened , the one thing that I cried over stressed over seven years well six of my life slaving for a degree. This last December , I graduated with my degree officially now I have a bachelor's degree in criminal justice with a minor in sociology. It was this roller coaster of life , for a few weeks , wondering if truly I had received my degree. Well , long story short I got the official answer to my question and I was given my diploma. As always I usually get the post grad questions and something I knew I had to get use to. What now? Arent you glad? Get Ready for the rest of your life? Well , its been going on seven weeks fresh out of my school job. Rules are if you arent a student well you cant hold a student job. So I had to leave the one job I had held for two years going on three. It was bitter sweet , to volunteer to leave one of my favorite positions that I had held as a student . So I guess what is the question now? What is on my mind now? Well I've been on th...