life , as an actual adult and a christian , and a exhausted blogger and advocate
Life..
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I am super sorry I have not been able to post lately!
School has gotten the best of me please stay tuned for more posts inspirational and random thoughts!
I will be trying to set up a normal writing schedule soon!
Lots of Love
Bianca.
If I could I would say this.. since you've been in my life . You've made me feel like somehow I can conquer the world and try my best at anything. When your name lights up on my phone , I smile one of those smiles that you love. Just honestly friends right now , but I want to know you more and learn more and keep having you around me. You make me laugh with the silliest and stupidest things , you make me want to be better for myself and you. I know that our pasts have been not the greatest and we've had pain and things that we regret. You tell me , your keeping your distance because your scared at what I will think. But still, I want you to come closer to draw closer within your own time. Please don't ever feel that you aren't enough. Don't ever think that I wont turn away.. somehow things work out for a reason and things are still smoky as I would call it. We don't know where this is going to go.. but I still see something there I just don't know what ...
I know its been awhile since , I have written and updated everyone on my life. I will try to be as detailed as I can be without revealing much. I am in my career field now , and I work full time. Within life now , I do qualify as an essential employee . But I am a part-timer now , within my job , they did take some sort per-cautions. Within those it doesn't feel normal anymore. I dont get to socialize or see my co-workers as much. But I try to make and feel like work is normal. Such as the news recommends , wear makeup go to work and feel like everything is normal. I am grateful though for the small things , the people who support my brothers and soon to be sisters within our field. Giving us the option to not worry about a meal , so we can be concentrated on more important matters. Sure , I know they get gifts all the time , but remembering the employees that work with them as well. Truly makes my heart smile. As well , just remembering there are other parts of the team. D...
Its coming up on two years since I packed up my stuff and left the place that I called home for the last three years. Though I dont feel like I should drag out my posts on what happened , then I feel like its a step in a long recovery of loving myself. And loving things before I associated them with him. Tears pouring down my face, I was told things would not change. But they did , I lost a pet , I lost someone that I thought loved me. Maybe he did at some point , but the love wasn't there anymore and thinking about it now . I really wish most days I left sooner, one step with recovery is you start liking and doing things you did during the relationship. Talking with a counselor , she also spoke of it being a remembrance of good memories not the bad ones. I took a small step in that with cooking an egg in a nest, which is a piece of bread with an egg in the middle. Which was something that I loved , when I was with him. He actually made them for me when we first started d...
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