I wasnt perfect nor I claim to be .

I always have a ton of things on my mind, none are worthy of worrying about but I do . The music above basically describes in a nutshell my relationship with my father. Im 20 years old and the only true memory I have of him is him running out on me during spring break. He had free room and food at my mothers house, I lived in the dorms at the time . And what does he do? he leaves to a tour an 1 and mins away , everything he promised me down the drain , he told me he was going to teach me how to drive take me out to lunch when I was done with work and school . Did he do any of that? no ...He left me , when I stopped crying and he finally called my mother to tell her where he was (my aunts house) . He promised he would make it up to me , he tried .. but .. honestly it just felt like he was buying me off , taking me out for dinner a movie and shopping . A girls dream right? honestly not at the most , yes granted I did spend time with him saw him. But I never felt loved by him . The one thing I wanted the most in the world, I felt like he was just trying to make me happy with money. A lot of people dont know that I can and tend to pick up on others emotions , and all I could get from him was a guy trying to please a spoiled brat , I am so far from a spoiled brat .. my mother made me work for most of the things I had in my lifetime . Then lets add in the fact that he broke my mothers heart he promised her that he loved her and wanted to try one more time. He did nothing but give her the cold shoulder all week or rather day he was in town. Let me get one thing straight , I am very very protective of my mother, you mess with her . You will be sorry , yes we have our differences and dislikes but that woman was there for me when no one wasn't . So the small chance he had of being in my life .. he blew by doing that. you dont upset my mother. She was there , you weren't , she dried every tear I shed , was my best friend when I didn't have one  . She did a lot for me and you did not , Harassing her does not help either.. I just dont know honestly it bothers me that he acts like that and always will be like that .. He has no room in my life anymore.. Im just tired of trying tired of caring for someone who doesn't seem to care im alive