Wild and Faithful Heart

I have posted my testimony through out my time here on the blog. But as most people know testimonies change as you go throughout your life. Your story changes things happen and you learn new things. My life has always been with the church I grew up christian , I went to VBS and then soon after that I went to church camp. But throughout that, I had times in my life where I wondered if God was really there. My brothers sickness , both of them as infants dealt with sickness while in the hospital one recovered while the other is still monitored closely . There was other times , but this is going to be short. Either way I worried about the future and what it held for me , I was a senior in high school . And I was a mess , I was worried about what would happen in the next few years. While at church camp during worship no doubt I felt this calming presence. Just letting me know that I am alright and everything would be alright. And somehow I knew that feeling was just right. Well college c...

What attracts you on Love? This isn't as much an open ended question as a question for debate. It is not really as specific as you would like. I mean what would attract me on love? what is the qualities that I look for in a potential boyfriend? Then there is the other question what does love mean to you? I guess I can answer some or maybe all of these questions. Love is something that is unfiltered and raw. Something that can make you feel your best on one day. And then the next feel like the most alone person in the room. It can be a mother loving her kids enough to make sure they eat before her. Or someone as much as giving away their last dollar to someone so they can eat. Love can and does come in all shapes and sizes. Then I guess comes with the open ended question , what does attract me to someone? Do I have a specific list? Must they meet certain qualifications? First I honestly dont feel as if I should do that to someone you cannot make them into something their not. ...

This is another , blogging challenge,  What makes you Sad    This is often or easy difficult thing to talk about there are so many things to be sad about. I can cry about all the troubles in the world or what is going on with others. I can shed tears with them. I though can often cry about broken relationships. With those who are in my past , which I was reminded of today. And it hurts , to put so much into something and then get nothing in return. When thinking about it that is what truly makes me sad. As well , trying so hard to feel open and move on with your life. You look at photos and see what was of that time and what could have been.  But these photos and the memories they do not help when recovery is something that you want to do. Nor is trying to drag out those feelings that you once felt for that person. It is something worthwhile, though to remember those feelings that you once felt but you need to remember that it is something in the past. ...

Day 18: a photograph of yourself , I thought this was a candid pic of me .. Lol braving the wind 💨 today have a safe holiday everyone 🦃 A photo posted by Bianca Nunez (@girlygirl4evers29) on Nov 22, 2016 at   Day19: Your Favorite Movie: Ok on this one I am a little off I really dont have a favorite movie. I love a lot of movies I am more than likely to give you a list of certain movies that I like rather than just one movie. Which is weird, and then some more. I am a verified movie buff this was a really random subject to talk about.

Well it has been an eventful week , the semester is wrapping up and I am trying my hardest to pass with a c and b with my two classes. I made small steps into moving on with my life , Though I felt like I rushed the process when I first broke up. Now somehow I am going backwards and making a better effort. But its hard , it really is my mother was admitted to the hospital on Wednesday night and I had to officially be an adult. It sucks when the other person , than your mother who use to calm you down isnt there anymore. Sitting in the surgery waiting room , alone.. made me a mess. I wished he was there I wished somehow this would make him come. But honestly I knew this wasn't a movie , one of those romantic silly ones.  But I got through it , I had a friend who came by and sat with me my siblings came. But somehow in my mind , I thought about him , wondering what he was doing. Some how I need to stop these thoughts but this is my random thoughts post. School is wrapping up and I...

Its coming up on two years since I packed up my stuff and left the place that I called home for the last three years. Though I dont feel like I should drag out my posts on what happened , then I feel like its a step in a long recovery of loving myself. And loving things before I associated them with him. Tears pouring down my face, I was told things would not change. But they did , I lost a pet ,  I lost someone that I thought loved me. Maybe he did at some point , but the love wasn't there anymore and thinking about it now . I really wish most days I left sooner, one step with recovery is you start liking and doing things you did during the relationship. Talking with a counselor , she also spoke of it being a remembrance of good memories not the bad ones.  I took a small step in that with cooking an egg in a nest, which is a piece of bread with an egg in the middle. Which was something that I loved , when I was with him. He actually made them for me when we first started d...

Day 15: Where Do you see yourself in the Next Five years? In the next five years well that is something, to think about I mean everyone asks. Especially college students, I honestly hope that I am graduated and have my degree in criminal justice. With the plans that I have which include traveling and working as a missionary around the world. Which is a huge dream, and scary dream of mine. I hope comes in some sort of form. My dreams though I know arent really or may be in the plans for me. Which have always been dream and I hope they come true, is like I have which is to graduate , move from NM , fall in love again . Learn how to trust someone, again with my heart, and hope that we can pursue what God has in store for the both of us. Get married heck maybe have a few kids or even one. I wouldn't mind , get another pet. Though I feel like I could do that already I know I have to work , on myself and love myself again before I love someone else. Which I am slowly doing , and it ...