Wild and Faithful Heart

We haven't talked in a few days , or seen each other in months . The days go on and its hard not to believe everything that others tell me. Somehow I thought it would all be different, somehow I thought you were different this time. We finally understood each other , and somehow everything would be different. Now im just here with my thoughts and its hard to not completely think you've changed your mind. Others would tell me be patient while others say your covering for another life you've started with someone else. Its hard not to think you just used me , like the past.. its hard not to let the tears fall . Its an on going battle not to block you from all my social media and move on with someone. Start fresh move away from everything and just be selfish for once. But yet here I am waiting.. stupidly on my part I think. Because when it comes down to it .. it will always be you.. my heart somehow will always want you.. Unsure if you'll ever read this but if you do.. ...

This might be a long or a short entry.. The last journal or blog post as we all know it . I wasn't in the best place , I was down a dark hole. Do I often go there ? No I dont I usually tend to have a more positive view on my life. I mean honestly it can be worse . There are so many people that usually tell you that. I started the process to start my career in law enforcement , within this last year. And honestly it has been hard , while I write this post it is currently 43 degrees outside and I am currently planning on going on my daily run\jog. Its truly hard to go , when my body doesn't love it. But I just feel drawn to law enforcement , although graduated with a very broad field. Within this , you also could ask you struggle with stress and anxiety so why bother with a job that is going to throw you in a higher levels of stress and anxiety? I've become a pro at self care and handling how I feel within my life. If you are given the right tools to handle that type of st...